Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Patience

These last weeks in the pregnancy are always a bit of an up hill. The belly is heavy, the premature contractions are getting stronger and more painful and the mood is like a roller coaster. Crying easily and the thing I LACK that I always have had to struggle with in life is to have PATIENCE;=)

It´s days like the last days, that I call my mother, a very wise dear mother, and say to her that I HATE to have such bad patience with things. And as the wise mother she is, she says I just have to accept that I have to learn to wait for things and be OK with that.

I am 41 years old but still I am like that little 7 year old girl who had problems with waiting. Like when it was the day before x-mas eve and the x-mas gifts were all wrapped up and put under the x-mas tree. Just lying there, teasing me. Calling on me to just take a sneak-peak and see what was inside while everyone was asleep...

And even if I KNEW I shouldn´´t, I always opened the sides on some gift and looked inside to see what it was. Was it my dear Barbie I had wished for?

As I opened the side and saw what was inside, I felt guilty. Like a traitor. Like God would punish me for not being able to WAIT just one more day. And then the whole thing felt so bad and I felt like a looser. And I decided that NEXT x-mas, I wouldn´t cheat and look beforehand. And that I would LEARN to have patience and wait for things to happen.

NOW - at 41 years of age, I can honestly tell you that I still have problems with WAITING! I hate it! I want things to happen NOW!;=)

I am sure, that even when I am 80 years old, I´d be struggling with this "bad vice" of mine. And well, somewhere deep inside I feel that this "curiosity" that it really is -a curiousity to life, to what will come, to what will happen and to how the rest of my life will look like, is kinda nice too.

Cause what if I didn´t care. What if I didn´t stribe forward, always looking ahead, but backwards. What if I just stopped and was "content". Then so many things that I have been through in life would never had happened.

And THAT would be much worse than struggling with my BAD PATIENCE! (maybe a new song title, hehe;=)

30 comments:

Betty Blue said...

Patience is highly overrated. Things *should* happen NOW ^^
Nah. But you´re right, waiting is horrible, and while a bit of patience would be nice, with too much patience we´d never get anywhere. I don´t have much patience when it comes to other people and to music, but for the rest of my life I´m way too patient. And it did not bring me anywhere, so...
I wish you and your family a very good day!
Love, Betty

Kriszti said...

Oh how I can relate. I've always been a very impatient person, even when I was a little girl. I'm also very curious and these two can sometimes be a nightmare. Especially when my curiosity is battling my crazy stubbornness.. I suppose patience is a virtue we do not possess. But c'est la vie. And yes, please do write a song about it :D Have a nice evening, dear Anette <3

Aikaterine said...

You and me both...If I'm not 5 minutes early, I'm late. If I have to wait on *other people* I get offended! The good thing about being pregnant is that you just can't peek and open it early; baby will come when ready. That said, we have the technology to get a "sneak peek" via ultrasound, which I think is amazing.

Taaja said...

Don't worry about not being that much patience.. it is very normal. :)

I really wouldn't say you are 41, if I wouldn't know, because you really look younger!

Best wishes,
Taaja

saskia said...

I know this mood like a roller coaster. on minute you are happy and could hug the whole world and five minutes later you are short before crying, than you get angry without a reason... One time I and my friend have this at the same time. Both talking via skype laughing and than get so depressed that we sat crying in front of the PC. damn puberty and damn hormons. I just can hope this ends soon. ( My poor parents who have to endure that:P)
And I also have a problem with being patient, so I can understand you. Have a nice evening

Philippa said...

Beautifully said Anette! Having to wait and being patient isn't always easy, but in your case it'll be so worth it in the end when you can finally hold your beautiful baby :)

elinie said...

Don't worry, dear! Everything will be just wonderful! And you're going to meet a new life!
I also have the same problem and I, we are learning to deal with it)
Sleep well, honey! You are special and wonderful! Remember it!
Love you so <3

gotmeghan said...

I fully understand what you mean. I'm not a fan of waiting either. And by the way, you do not look 41 years old. Just saying :)

ArenaSkies said...

Impatience is common. I think I'm actually a pretty patient person, but, of course, everyone has their limits. Sometimes I waited years to get what I wanted. I think I got that from my father who's the most laid-back person I know. It would be nice to get things faster, but life doesn't work like that most of the time. Oh, well.

Sarah Estevez Lois said...

Oh yes I know what you mean. I'm provide very fast and then wait until the person logs on is the purest horror. I'm not patient. I know that I should be better, it would be a lot easier. you are not patient, then sits and thinks, and you start to make wories in itself. that's really hard. I guess I should try to change it.

Laetitianne said...

Hello!

Remind yourselves that it is for nothing that a pregnancy lasts 9 months. You will have a healthy baby at the end! Patience!

Have a nice night!

Laetitianne.

Pam Scott said...

Yes Anette I know what you mean!! When I was younger I was graced with (the patience of a saint) as some would say…. Raising 4 babies…….now that I am older my patience level has diminished considerably….well, we do live in a society where we want everything NOW NOW NOW!!…..I guess my advice would be to ask the Lord for guidance on this issue He will give you peace and patience immeasurable…..blessings to you and your precious little baby…..God’s timing is always best!!!
Soon you will hold your dear little one!!!

Océane said...

Nice to learn more about your personnality! :)
As a singer we dont really know your personnality, exept what you want to show us, a sweet lovely, kind person and a loving mother! So yeah always interesting to know a bit more, bit by bit :)

And Im also a very impatient person!! When I want something I want it NOW, and when I have an idea I want to make it real NOW! This is quite annoying sometimes cause of course we cant have/do every thing we want at the minute we want it.
But patience make us love that thing we were waiting for even more, right? :)

And Bad patience is a great title song!! Sounds like a rocky song actually :)

Enjoy this evening my dear,
Love, Hugs and your patience will give you the best gift ever! :)

Vivien said...

Hello, dear Anette!
I'm sure that many people want to be more patient. So do I. I've always thought that It's bad to be impatient. But let's just see this situation from the other side.
Isn't it one of those features that makes us girls?! We are more emotional than men, and It's too heavy for us to hide our feelings.
And I think It's great to have that spark of childish happiness in your eyes(especially when in your family honorary post of "secret Santa" is yours))))
It means that life routine hasn't make us boring and we still believe in miracles.
Also we can identify things that we are really care about only in such way. There's nothing wrong in this.
If you were born with such character feature there's no sence in fighting with it, all we can do - it's to find best use for it and enjoy it's best sides.

With best wishes!!! Vivien

Nalon said...

Hello Anette,
just Patience!:)
I bet your little baby can not wait too, to see you face to face.^^

It makes no difference how old an expectant mother is. At some point, the curiosity is there.

It´s a great Idea to write a song about this feel;).
A Lovesong for all your three babies.

Sleep well, Two in One!:)

Nalon

Lara Michaels said...

AWW Anette! I'm still SOOO super happy for you to have this wonderful new life to be arriving into this world soon!! I can understand how you feel about impatience, we're all guilty of looking under the Christmas tree before the time has come ;) But an important thing is to know that the baby will be here before you know it, and you will have a beautiful little son/daughter to add to the family!! He/she will come in the blink in the eye!

Have a nice night Anette, have beautiful dreams!

-Lara :)

Mél (Love Anette Olsson Forever.) said...

Hei Anette,
Good luck and courage to wait it'll hang you over a very long time!
Have a good night and rest well dear Anette & for your dears ones <3
Kisses&Love&Hugs :*

shay said...

Anette...my girl.....ahhh patence is a virture....good things come to those who wait....those are some of the things i was taught as a child.....i still try hard to live by that at times are hard.... of coarse..no ones perfect.. but all we can do is keep tryin to
Become a better person.... i am hard on myself...worst critic i swear....my parents were perfectionist....so i always feel like i let them down...eventhough they are proud of all my sisters and i....my mom passed away last May and i still sometimes feel like i disappoint her at times....but i know she guides me and gives me courage everyday....including paitence etc......

Lina said...

Hi Anette! I am an Aries, and one of our traits is impatience... If your baby is born an Aries (March 21-aPril 20) then he or she might be impatient also! ;-)

Hugs,
Lina

Isabella Ahnert said...

Hello Anette ^ ^
Yeah, I'm also impatient. We want something but can not. This is really horrible.
But hopefully you can Overcome impatience, and I am too impatient. Let's see what the future has in wait, and We Can Overcome impatience.
Have patience with your cute baby ^ ^ Soon he will come, and will be a joy and so much, and you will forget this impatience, you will see =)
It would be great to do a song with the theme impatience :)
Kisses ♥
# Isabella Ahnert ♥

Carol Misokane said...

Hello Nettan.
I understand how you feel, I felt something similar for some years of my life. I hated to wait, patience was an unknown word in my life, but I had to learn through the worst way how to wait and learn that if we don't know how to have patience and wait things in life, they'll just go wrong and we will fall and it will hurt us like hell.
Now I'm 20 years old, a baby for you of course, but things have been coming very wrong in my life but sometimes I just think if they weren't happening, I'd be the same scaring girl, who hates to wait and wants everything in her way, her time.
Unfortunately we all have a side we cannot control and maybe that's your side, so what you have to do is to deal with it and try to be more patiente. I know is hard, but sometimes even if we don't want we must. I'll be sending all my good energy to you to conquer this battle. So soon your baby will be right there in your arms and heaven will be at your side again, so it's just a matter of days and days go by very fast =).

Love, Carol

Carol Misokane said...

And like a good friend of mine always says: a baby takes nine months to wait, so there's nothing more you could do about the time than WAIT =/

lynn0407escapistgirl said...

Oh, how sweet, the little Nettie always had to look what's inside the x-mas gifts. Very cute story and I'm happy you shared it with us. On the concern of patience I'm as hopeless as you are, I am so very impatient. But I was never cheating with the x-mas gifts... So you and I have the impatience in common and the wise mum too, my mum would have told me the same as your mum did. I always thought about my mum as the wisest person ever. It's great to have a wise mum, if you need any advice you know to who you can adress your questions.

Much love,
Steffi <3

Tom said...

Hi Anette! :-)

Compared to me you sound as though you're the other end of the patience spectrum :-) You don't have any patience, and I do have patience :-) So much so that I even have patients! :-D Of the ill type on my ward! :-D Lol!

Seriously though I can understand why you wouldn't be patient at a time like this :-) A time at this very late stage of your pregnancy when the physical pains increase ( I can only imagine ) and your mood swings like you stated. As well as longing to see the new small person who's been growing inside you for the last 7 or 8 months :-)

Though your wise mum is right
:-) There is nothing you can do but wait :-)

So Anette, despite your physical pains or mood swings, I urge you to take it as easy as possible
:-)

Look after yourself! :-) Night night Anette! :-)

Dalma Tálas said...

How cute you are! =) I like posts like this. I just enjoy reading others’ thoughts about a certain topic. And now I’m sorry if it’s too long but I need to write here my thoughts, too.

First of all, don’t worry dear. Most of us are like that. You know, there are things, which make us human. "Det är inte våra dygder, utan våra fel, som gör oss till människor." (August Strindberg) You don’t need to moreover you mustn’t change yourself just because you want to be perfect. There’s no such a thing.

As for patience, it’s very OK to be excited if you long so much for something. If you didn’t feel like that it would indicate that you are careless and neglectful of the world and that you don’t care about anything even yourself. It would be very inhuman and wrong. You wouldn’t enjoy life. In fact, you wouldn’t live in the present but just float in yourself. You wouldn’t really feel that you’re alive. Time would just fly away. You’d accept things as they are and never feel any need to change them. And this is worse even than being headstrong and an eager beaver. Believe me; I know what I’m talking about.

Actually, I can barely imagine you being angry or impatient. I’d say that impatience and Anette can’t be in the same universe. =) But if you really feel like that I believe you.

It’s cute you checked out your presents. But as you’re older now you know the rules and you wouldn’t do such things, would you? Everybody hates waiting. Waiting for something you want so much. And the closer it comes to you the slower time seems to run. But think a little about it. Until you get what you want, while you’re waiting time slows down and you start to feel you’re alive. You can enjoy that the thing is not yours yet and that it’s still ahead of you. Once it’s going to become past but now it’s the future. It’ll pass soon, sooner than you think. Then you have to realize that the best part in all this was the waiting, it couldn’t be anything else. Your baby is inside you and after s/he is born s/he won’t go back anymore, so enjoy that you two are still one. =)

Dalma Tálas said...

I know what you long for now, so just to cheer you up: think about that waiting is not just about waiting something you wish for. It can also be the opposite. When there’s something ahead of you that you don’t really want to do but still have to. This one is the worst. Time brutally slows down then. But even if you hate that thing, when you’re over it everything starts to seem brighter. Even the thing itself becomes nicer.

Last months I was very impatient. I didn’t do the right thing. And I’ve regretted it. What is the saddest that I knew I’d regret it and still did it. Looking back I don’t understand why I couldn’t work a little bit harder. Then now I’d be satisfied and could do without conscience what I didn’t wait for at that time. This happens to me many times. I’m too impatient to wait for things to happen in their time. But sometimes when I can wait for them, they seem not so interesting and precious then when I get them. They lose their attractions when I reach them. So it’s not always the best way to wait patiently.

( I was speaking about my exams. I was too impatient to wait and learnt Swedish instead of preparing for my exams. Now when I could enjoy learning Swedish, I can’t because of my conscience. Even if my report was the best in my group it’s not enough for me. I’m a perfectionist so only the best is good for me. Believe me being maniac maximalist is much worse than being impatient. It’ so stressful but I can’t stop myself.)

I’m very often impatient with computers. Sometimes I could truly smash mine. This often hurts to my keyboard. Some keys have been pulled off by my nails. :D And I hate waiting for the bus or the underground. Especially when I happen to see a bus starting from the bus stop and they come in every hour. It can be very annoying in winters. At least I wouldn’t have seen the previous one leaving… And even if I catch it I have to travel for 40 minutes. At the door most of the time of course, which somehow wants to open when the crowd push me to it. In that situation waiting can be really hated. But still I’m happy because the chauffer didn’t leave me at the bus stop without stopping there.

Curiosity is an absolute positive thing. It brings you adventures and makes you experience and know better our world. It makes you learn so many things. When you’re curious about your future it’s the best motivation for you. And it’s so exciting to think about your life. To imagine yourself 10, 20 or something years from now. Especially when you know that there are many changes ahead of you. Like getting your degree and your first job, working in a real laboratory, programming a bigger game, speaking English and Swedish fluently and visiting Sweden, as for me. =) When thinking about these I’m so excited and can barely sit here. My joy of life comes to me then. So sometimes waiting can be good, motivating you to be better and better to reach your dreams.

I know I’m less than half as old as you so I can’t know as much about the world as you but still felt the need for sharing my thoughts with you.

So dear Anette, “never lose a holy curiosity” and long for everything that is ahead of you even if they seem bad at first.

Love you,
Dalma♥

Stephanie Sarabia said...

I can relate with your patience issues. I probably have to wait a while to ever see you perform or even meet you live. I hope I do :) hugs from las vegas!

And maybe pick up new activities that will keep your mind off time :) I've taken up photography and writing in my blog". I've also been inspired to loose weight so that will keep me busy! Blessings Anette! Oh by the way your most recent demo is fantastic! Hmm would be nice to see a duet between you and tarja? ;-) I can only dream dear. Maybe I have to have patience for that too! Ok enough blahbling hehe

Take Care Nettie!! And I'm so anxious to see the sex of your baby! Boy or Girl? Hmmm patience!

Sabine Sharktale said...

Awhhh*hugs* I'm bad in waiting too! I allready want to be a grown up now!(I'm 15 so I want to be a mum like you allready but I never had seks before so yeah) At the moment I don't have ADHD but a traumatic stress disorder(I can live with all that shit)

Going to school now(last day before holliday!)

xx

July said...

Oh Nettie, I think that you're not patient because it's normal in your case just breathe and relax! at the end the result will be very beautiful.

I'm also very impatient, sometimes I think very much about a topic and when that happens it's hard to forget about it.

But now Nettie, just eat well, breathe nice, take it easy and enjoy these beautiful moments in your life!

Svanhildr said...

Most of people are convinced that patience is a virtue. I think so too, but I also think that it can become like a vice after a certain point. It's kind of hilarious that we are struggling with opposite things :) lately I realised that my almost endless patience has somehow 'frozen' many situations in my life. And sometimes the worst thing is that other people take advantage of your patience because they think it will never end. Now I'm just trying to obtain the results that can be obtained now, and not tomorrow or who knows when. And I just love your conclusion, when you ask yourself: "What if...". It's incredibily true :)

As regards the little one you're waiting for so impatiently, just think that in some weeks you'll be ready to live a whole life with him/her! What are these last weeks compared with a life? I think it's definitely worth the wait :)

Have a nice evening over there, and take care!